Summary
Christmas can be a wonderful time full of festive fun – but the truth is, it can be tricky and complicated too. Toxic family members can really upset the atmosphere and be unpleasant to deal with. Read more for our tips on how to handle those people and enjoy the holidays as best you can.
TV, film and social media like to sell us a fairytale at Christmas but in reality, most homes and families are not picture-perfect.
They’re flawed and complicated and no two are exactly the same. But something that many families have is toxic people. Someone or several individuals who make life difficult by being overbearing, critical, dismissive or downright cruel.
Whether it’s intentional or not, it can be hard and unpleasant to deal with especially when all you want is to see everyone getting along and enjoying themselves.
Here are a few things you can do to create a warmer atmosphere at home this Christmas:
Try to clear the air before the holidays
If you and a sibling or parent have had a massive fight or argument, do your best not to let it ruin Christmas for the rest of the family.
Talk to them beforehand and do your best to clear the air or at least call a temporary ceasefire in order to enjoy the time at home with everyone!
Accept that people will have different opinions to yours
Different generations often have vastly different opinions on what can be quite triggering issues. Do your best to avoid topics like politics, LGBTQ issues, vaccines and climate change with someone you suspect will have the opposite view to your own.
The urge might be there to call them out but it’s better for everyone at home if you accept that not everyone will share your opinion.
See if you can understand where they’re coming from
The holidays can bring out the worst in people, particularly adults. Time pressure, money worries and relationship issues can all take their toll and as a result, they find Christmas quite stressful.
It’s not an excuse but it might help you be more understanding if you see a family member acting poorly this year.
Try not to be alone with the toxic person
There is safety in numbers and if you find yourself alone with the toxic person, you will have no choice but to engage with them which could lead to a row.
Instead, do your best to always be in a group. That way you have a buffer from their toxic behaviour and won’t get drawn into a conversation you’d rather not have.
Avoid alcohol
It might be tempting to sneak a few drinks here and there throughout the festive season but if there’s tension at home, it’s not a good idea.
First of all, it won’t help you relax, it will make you less in control which means you’re more likely to say something without thinking it through that you ultimately regret.
Know when to leave the room
Just because you live at home doesn’t mean you have to be part of a toxic atmosphere. If it all becomes too much for you, quietly get up and leave the room.
If you’re confronted, explain calmly why you’re leaving or, if you’re afraid they’ll be angry, simply say that you’re tired and want to go to your bedroom.
Take some me-time throughout the week as well to go for a walk or run, to meet up with a friend or just listen to a podcast.
Key takeaways
- Toxic family members don’t always act intentionally, but they can be really unpleasant to deal with either way.
- Often the best thing you can do is clear the air, keep the peace, and avoid certain topics rather than getting annoyed that people think differently to you.
- To avoid a row, try not to be alone with the toxic person.
- If there is tension in the house, it’s best to avoid alcohol as this can escalate things.
- You don’t have to remain in a toxic atmosphere.
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