Summary
Feeling like you have no friends, or like people don’t want to hang around with you, can be a really lonely feeling in itself. But around 60% of young people report feeling socially excluded at times, and most people feel the same feelings of embarrassment or shame around it. Read more about social exclusion and loneliness, and how to cope with feeling like you’re out of the loop or unpopular, and continue to ‘do you’ with pride.
Do you ever feel lonely? Are there times when it feels like you have no friends or that they are hanging out without you?
In a time when everyone seems so keen to share the highlights of their amazing lives on social media, it can sometimes feel embarrassing to admit that we have no friends or often feel lonely.
But, it’s a more common phenomenon than you might realise. Young people regularly contact Childline either via calls, live chat or Ask The Team to discuss loneliness and how it is affecting them. You can read some of the questions and responses from Ask The Team.
The important thing to remember is that, even if you feel lonely, you are not alone.
However, we also know that it’s possible to feel lonely even when you’re surrounded by people who love you. Sometimes, it’s just a feeling that is hard to shake.
Here are some things you can do:
Think about the friends in your life
You may not speak to them much anymore or perhaps you don’t go out with them because you have social anxiety or are more introverted. But that doesn’t mean they won’t want to meet up with you one-to-one. Take a chance and get in touch with someone you used to be close with. Chances are they will be really happy to hear from you and be glad to hang out – whether it’s just a walk or calling over to watch TV.
Write it out
If you’re feeling truly stuck or lonely, despite having supportive friends and family, it might be time to think seriously about why you feel disconnected from them. Take the time to consider who you are, who you would like to be, and how you could reach out and connect with like-minded people. Keep a journal to document your thoughts and feelings, and you might find it starts to give you a bit of direction, and some ideas of where you can meet people you like, and who like you!
Talk to someone
We know it seems obvious and you might not think that you have anyone in which to confide, but you do. You have every right to seek support. It could be from chatting to your teacher, a therapist, an aunt or uncle or calling Childline.
Explain what you’ve been going through, why you think it’s happening and how you would like to feel.
Respect your mental health
You do not need to suffer in silence. If how you’re feeling is affecting your sleep, your eating habits or causing you to feel depressed, it is vital that you do something before things escalate further.
Instead of waiting for someone else to notice, take control of your life and think about what you need to do to make it better. It could be as simple as taking a walk to clear your mind, watching a funny show, reading articles about maintaining good mental health or asking your parents for help.
Know that this passes
If you feel alone, or like people don’t get you, or if you struggle to make friends, it can feel like the end of the world. It’s not easy, and you have a right to feel sad about it. But thought it doesn’t always feel like it, your school days will pass. When you move on to college, work, or whatever you do next, you will meet a whole new pool of people. And lots of them will share your passions and interests and appreciate you for who you are.
It’s a whole new world, and you can go into it with a lot to offer. Focus on yourself, on who you are, and what you love, and where your passions are. Even if nobody in school gets it now, eventually other people will appreciate you and the special things you bring to the world. It can take time to find your tribe!
Be proactive
When you’re feeling down, it can be easy to blame everyone else or feel like the whole world is against you and doesn’t understand. And while you may not be at fault, it is still up to you to change your circumstances.
Join a club you think you might enjoy or sign up to learn a new sport or hobby where you will meet new people and potentially make a lot of friends.
It is important to know that you are not alone.
Childline is always there to chat, listen and to help you think about who is in your life and who you would like to be in your life. You can call Childline for free on 1800 66 66 66 or chat with one of our volunteers at any time via the Childline website – childline2024.wpenginepowered.com.
Key takeaways
- Loneliness and exclusion can have a real impact on people’s mental health, especially young people.
- As lonely as loneliness feels, you’re actually one of many young people who share this feeling.
- There are lots of little things you can do to help put things in perspective when you’re feeling lonely.
- It can take time to find your tribe! Focus on yourself and be patient.
- Remember you have the power to change your circumstances. Go out there and meet people.
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