Summary
It can be really confusing and upsetting to live in a home where there is constant fighting and anger. You might feel responsible (you’re not), or as though it’s your job to protect your siblings (it isn’t). If your parents are always fighting and it’s affecting you, read this article to find a few tips for keeping yourself safe, sane, and separate from their fights.
If your parents don’t always get along, it’s important that you know that it’s not your fault or your problem to fix
Every family experiences pressure and stress from time to time and sometimes this can lead to disagreements and tension. Living in a home that’s full of stress and arguments can be very distressing. If you have younger brothers or sisters, you may feel obligated to shield them from tensions by getting involved in resolving your parents problems.
However, this is not your job – you are your own person and it’s your parents’ job to look after your emotional needs.
If your parents are constantly fighting, here are some ways to cope:
Find someone to talk to
It’s not good for your mental health to deal with this on your own. We all need one trusted adult we can lean on when things get too much. All they need to do is listen.
Don’t get involved
Sometimes parents try to drag us into the middle of their issues and back them up. As difficult as it might be, do your best to stay out of these types of situations.
Let them know how you feel
If you feel safe enough to do so, tell your parents that their arguments are upsetting for you. They might not have realised how their relationship is affecting you.
Keep yourself safe
If you feel that anyone in the house is in danger, call someone. Disagreements are normal, violence or abuse is not.
Nobody is perfect, and that includes your parents. They are just people trying to figure life out and doing their best. We are all learning, every day, even the grown-ups.
You can also contact us here at Childline any time of the day or night by clicking on the LiveChat button, (the Orange Tab on the right-hand side of your screen) and there will be someone to listen to you 24/7. If you would rather talk over the phone, then we also have our phone line on 1800 66 66 66.
Key takeaways
- It is not your fault that your parents fight, and not your job to be involved in the fights or in shielding your siblings
- Your parents have a responsibility to take care of your emotional needs, not the other way around.
- If you feel safe to do so, you can talk to them about how their fights make you feel.
- Do your best to stay out of their fights even if they try to drag you in.
- Your safety is the most important thing. Fights are normal, but violence and abuse is not.
- Nobody is perfect, even your parents.
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